People trying to converse with me lean closer. "What's that?", they ask apologetically. I can tell they hate asking again--partially because they care about my well-being, but mostly because listening to me is like trying to follow a cell phone conversation with a bad connection. Some give up and I'm left feeling as if I've experienced a dropped call.
Yes, I am exhausted from the effort necessary to get through the days like this. Yes, I've had something warm to drink and something cold to drink. I've tried cough drops and extra rest and just ignoring the problem. I've gargled and have spent long stretches resting my sad remnants of a voice. All to no avail.
There is nothing left to try, no magic bullet. I'm left wondering when my voice will ever return. Or if it will. And if it does, will I recognize it? After all, it's been gone so long that I've become accustomed to the less polished, less audible, but infinitely more interesting one I have now.
Maybe you should ask the kids to look for your voice for you. If they're anything like mine you will keep them busy for the entire day! I hope that you get to feeling better.
ReplyDeleteI've never lost my voice and just recently, a friend of mine tried to describe to me what it feels like to try to talk without a voice. I can't imagine the frustration! I love the voice that comes through in your slice. Your word choice really stands out: "rusty bits and pieces," "gravelly whisper punctuated by random squeaks,"the trail of my words suddenly disappearing into an unseen mist." I love it!
ReplyDeleteAt least your voice is coming through loud and clear here. I know the frustration and exhaustion of trying to talk when you can't. Hope it returns soon.
ReplyDeleteI have never completely lost my voice, but I can imagine how hard it would be for me. I talk... a lot...as a seventh grade LA teacher, I am constantly conferring, answering questions, and telling kids to keep their hands to themselves in the hallway.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with you as you continue to search!
When I was doing my student teaching, I lost my voice completely TWICE. I was nearly "without voice" today as well. In your case, I think you just need time (and less stress, as usual, Miss Ruth). I think God may be telling ME to keep my mouth shut a bit more, though...
ReplyDeleteSeems like with every cold that comes my way, my voice takes the brunt of it. So frustrating. Love your cell phone with a bad connection simile.
ReplyDeleteYou need to imagine this next part in a mother's voice: "Maybe if you would take a sick day and quit talking you would feel better and your voice would come back."
ReplyDeleteHaha.
Glad you are slicing this month. I love hearing from the sofa. :)
I'm so glad I found you. I kept looking at your other blog and then, duh, realized I only needed to click on your name to get to this one. Hope you are feeling better. Thanks for your encouraging comments. And, I ditto Ruth's comment.:)MaryHelen
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