Sunday, March 13, 2011

Denial

It may be time to admit that something's up with my eyes again. I've worn glasses or contacts since I was a kid and am very nearsighted. I have had some other issues that have resulted in floaters that act like bugs on a windshield through which I must look at everything--though all but a couple are so small I don't notice them most of the time.

But over the past week and a half, it has gotten harder and harder to deny that I may have to call my eye doctor again. The first clue was squinting a little harder to see the scores of the basketball games on the tv. During the day, I found myself blinking hard to try to clear the slight fog that had descended. Then I realized that I was moving my glasses up and down my nose to make the print clear enough to read while propped in bed at night. But the clincher? Well, over the past few days, when I sit down with my laptop to read posts and slice...well, I have had to enlarge the print to keep the letters sharp enough to read them easily. Actually, I sometimes have to enlarge it a couple times. Making the print that big sort of takes away the coolness factor of my very cool little Mac Air. And the floaters? I am noticing them more and more. Especially that big one--it's right in my way when I read.

I told myself that I was reading too much--yeah, right! I always read a lot. My next bit of denial was that this laptop is small, so maybe that's the problem. And it couldn't possibly be an age related thing. Not going there. Then I told myself I was just tired--and that could be it, right? I've been working hard and doing a most of my reading and slicing and commenting later in the evening, so that could be it. And then that perception was shattered when I sat down this morning, coffee in hand, ready for a relaxing morning of writing my slice and reading other's bits and pieces. To my chagrin, the first move I made as I started reading was to move my fingers across the trackpad, enlarging the print until the letters became sharper and stopped waving at me.

So maybe it's time to make that call to the eye doctor. Or maybe it isn't me at all. Maybe it's the light in here....

9 comments:

  1. Call your eye doctor immediately! Do not pass Go, do not hesitate! Your eyesight is too valuable to take chances that it will get better. Hopefully, this can be remedied easily, but get it checked out! (PS: Your post has great voice.)

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  2. I agree with what Elsie said. I hope that you can get it checked out. I like how you described what was happening with your thinking.
    --jee young

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  3. Your words made the experience very real, & very much an alarming thing to pay attention to. Best of wishes to you, at the eye doctor!

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  4. Insightful post. You sound worried, like maybe you already suspect what it is. I am hoping it is easily treatable. I also hope you make that appointment soon. Your voice is very strong, I hope your vision becomes equally strong.

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  5. I had a similar experience earlier this school year. My darling BFF at school told me that it was the "O" word. I didn't get it because the idea of getting old is not even on my radar. I couldn't read the page numbers of my students' books, I couldn't see leaves on trees anymore. It turned out that I have an eye virus. It has been about 3 months and it has not entirely cleared up yet, but my vision is back to being sharp again. I was terrified to go to the eye doctor initially, but very glad I did! Good luck- and thank you for answering my questions about your b-ball poem!

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  6. As the wife of your eye doctor, I say CALL HIM! He's lying on the bed right beside me...and he agrees wholeheartedly. :) Make the appointment!

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  7. Oh Ruth, love your thoughts. I love your denial. Hmmm when are you calling? :)MHG

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  8. I have floaters, too!!! Isn't great swatting bugs all year long!!!! They'll break up and it won't be so bad. You should see the doctor about the floaters. The doctor told me not to get upset when I don't see that good with my new glasses because.....I'm getting cataracts!! Isn't that super??!! He said if it really bothers, let's have that surgery. It's beginning to bother me more and more. I said that old age has finally got me. He said you don't have to be old to get them!! See your doctor. You'll at least know instead of worrying about it.

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  9. I wondered if something was going on when you commented your eyes are tired. So, *coughcough*, have you made your appointment?

    I have this friend, with the same first name as me, who is relentless when she thinks someone needs to take care of a health-issue. Maybe you should talk to her?

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