Saturday, March 3, 2012

Consider the Source

Last night Oldest and Middle participated in the regional round of the state music contest for jazz groups. Oldest plays bass with the high school jazz band and Middle plays violin with the newly-formed jazz strings at our middle school. Both also play with our orchestras, and the music department in our district is state-level good. They are pretty amazing and regularly win awards.

But that's not what I'm excited about.

The contest last night was pretty far away, so Husband, Youngest and I didn't go (don't worry--high school Oldest and middle-school Middle didn't mind. I prefer to think of it as teen independence and not the fact that they don't want their parents following them everywhere).  The middle school group got home a couple hours before the high school group, so Middle was in bed by the time Oldest got back.

"How'd it go?" I asked. He told me they had done really well, with top marks from the judges.  I mentioned that his sister had told me she noticed he had come to the auditorium when the middle school group performed. I knew that Middle had 3 solos...and that she said she had been nervous and wasn't sure they were that great.

"Yeah--and you know what? They were good. Really good, like probably either the best ones there or one of the best, and they were way better than most of the other middle schools."

"Really?" I replied, "that's awesome! How did the solos go for Middle?"

"Um, pretty good. Actually....she was the best one. Hers were stronger than the others." He went on a bit about both groups, but I don't remember his exact words after that.

Oldest said complimentary things about Middle. He said she was the best. And he meant it. Consider the source--Oldest, Middle, and Youngest are generally nice to each other and they really do get along well, but I don't often (ok, so it's more like rarely) hear them talk about each other this way.

The awards are great and I'm proud of the kids from our school. But what I'm going to remember is that little bit of conversation--the part I'm really proud of.


  1. I love the title of your blog! I also love hearing about siblings who obviously care about each other and are willing to show that love through their words. You should be proud!

  2. Now this sibling support is recorded for all time. I could feel your joy start to build as the son praised sister. This is something to beam about.

  3. I know just what you mean. My girls (15 and 12) have always gotten along SO well...strangers in stores would comment on it. But in the last year I feel like I entered the twilight zone with all their bickering and fighting. I'll be glad when we get through this patch!

    And how lucky for your kids to be in a school with such a great band program. My girls play piano and violin but are kept from band because all we have is marching band. Congrats to your kids on their great playing!!

  4. Love how you identify your children as Oldest, Middle, and Youngest! I was a Middle...and the only girl of four kids. My brothers and I mostly got along, but I remember the feeling of awe when I heard one of my older brothers defend me one day. I am also amazed when I hear my older son support his younger brother. It is a joy of parenthood!

  5. This was a heart moving slice for any mother to read. I wish to catch my kids speaking like this about each other.

  6. This reminds me of when my oldest brother actually gave me a compliment to my face when we were younger. I was baffled and so confused. This makes me wonder what my mom felt like when she was standing right there...

  7. It's so moving to see your kids get along with eachother and just a beautiful thing to hear them really respect eachother. You just hope all the groundwork that you laid pays off.

    I like how you framed them going by themselves, "I prefer to think of it as teen independence and not the fact that they don't want their parents following them everywhere)." Very clever!

  8. It's a wonderful feeling to know they love and respect each other down (well, not so very far down) deep!

  9. I am not necessarily in a hurry for my children to grow up, but there are parts of me that are hopeful and excited for moments like the one you so sweetly described.

  10. I teared up when I got to the part in the conversation where the compliments were revealed. I know what it would mean to me to be complimented like that by my sister. Sibling respect runs deep, but verbalization of it is a rarity!

  11. I love this. Moments like these that are precious to remember.
    Mary Helen