Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Reasons Why

The reason I don't read suspense novels when I'm home alone at night is that I don't work out and have never taken a self-defense course.. If a bad guy is hiding under the bed waiting to grab me when I'm looking for my slippers, I won't be able to punch him out or outrun him.

The reason I eat big bowls of popcorn several times a week is heredity. I inherited an unstoppable craving from my mother who says she inherited it from her father. You can't pick your gene pool.

The reason I read a lot is that I am pretty sure I have an addiction problem and I've heard terrible stories about what happens during withdrawal. My family does not deserve anything I might be capable of if I quit reading.

The reason I eat the rest of the cookies in the package or the chocolates in the bag is so they can't tempt me. Removing temptation is how you avoid things like eating to many cookies or too much chocolate. No more cookies or chocolate = no more temptation.

The reason I let my daughter be in charge of painting my toenails is that it means I don't have to bend over as much. Also, I can keep reading my book and still have pretty toenails, and sometimes she throws in a foot massage.

The reason I had to come up with an idea to slice tonight is that I actually miss it a little when I don't. And also I'm a little bit afraid that the BONS or my rouge-book-club-turned-slicers will be disappointed or will call me to rub it in that they sliced and I didn't.

8 comments:

  1. Thank you for the giggle. I couldn't stop laughing about the robber under the bed and your lack of self-defense class. I am board with you on finishing up the sweets in the house to help with no temptation. Thanks for taking the time to post tonight. :)

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  2. I'm glad you felt the pressure to slice today, you gave me a laugh. Looking forward to your future slices too.

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  3. Love love love this structure. I'm going to have to steal it...in fact, I might use it tonight to sort out the new characters.

    And, I just want to add, I used to feel badly that you were scared of me, but now I kinda like it. ;)

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  4. So glad you are afraid of Ruth and her posse enough to keep slicing! The result is always a treat. I love the structure, but your voice is what makes it! I actually went back to reread this, just to chuckle again.

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  5. What a witty idea. You have listed valid reasons for everything. These would make into funny comic strips.

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  6. I love this structure as well. Very clever and your explanations are just too funny. Thanks for slicing!

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  7. I'm so glad you gave us power over what we do; I now know how to excuse all my seeming failings. It is a wonderful framework for lots of ideas to ponder. You have shown a clever flair for comedy.

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  8. Every time I open one of your posts, Ruth, I do it with such a sense of anticipation, and you don't disappoint me. Somehow you know what I'm looking for: a giggle, a few tears, a connection. Keep writing. I promise to keep reading!

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